All relationships have their ups and downs, and it’s perfectly normal to get into arguments now and again with your significant other or even to disagree on issues that are very important to you.
However, if things have gotten really bad recently between you and your man you may be asking yourself – Should I break up with him? Breaking up with someone you love is never easy, especially if you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for a number of years but sometimes it is unavoidable. At times, it is difficult to know when to end a relationship. If you’ve got to the point where you’re seriously considering breaking up.
Here are 5 signs of a probable break up:
1. No Discussion of the Future
If you are just taking it day by day with your boyfriend and there’s never any discussion of the future, then there likely won’t be much of a future between the two of you. It’s healthy to discuss and make plans for the future in a stable relationship, and if this is absent this could definitely be a warning sign that things aren’t as they should be. Before ending it between the two of you begin to talk about future plans with him. If all he can do in response is grunt or nod or constantly try to the change the subject it could be time to break up. No discussion of the future signals a sign to break up. However, if he’s as excited and enthusiastic about embarking on a bright future together as you are, you both could still have a chance of making it.
2. You No Longer Enjoy Spending Time with Him
Has hanging out with your boyfriend become a dreaded chore? If this is the case, know that this definitely isn’t normal or healthy. This is a fundamental relationship issue. While any relationship is never going to be a bed of roses 24/7, you should still enjoy spending time with each other and look forward to seeing him after a long day of work and at the weekend. If the idea of spending quality time with him sends shivers down your spine or even if you just feel disinterested in the idea your relationship could be heading for splitsville. This is a major sign of the end of a relationship.
3. Your Friends and Family Members Don’t Like Him
However perfect a guy your man is, there will probably still be at least one friend or family member that finds fault with him and that tries to give you constant advice on relationships. But if your entire family and circle of friends dislike him it may be time to listen to what they have to say. Love can be blind and your friends and family may see important negatives about your boyfriend that you’ve failed to see or chosen to ignore. Listen to what they have to say and see if you can see those faults for yourself. It’s important to have friends and family approval for a long lasting relationship and if they seriously disapprove of the two of you being together there could be something very wrong. This will require you to truly take a step back and evaluate your relationship from a different perspective.
4. There’s a Major Decrease in Your Sex Life
It’s ok to go through dry spells in a relationship but if things have gotten so bad that it’s been months since you got it on, then you may want to reevaluate whether your relationship is going anywhere. Sex is vital for a healthy relationship and if it’s become something either one or both of you are trying to avoid then there is probably a deep rooted issue between the two of you. This sign to break up is often at the foundation of an unhealthy relationship. You could try spicing things up in the bedroom to revive your sex life, but if this does little to improve things you may want to seriously consider if you’re in a relationship worth further pursuing.
5. You Feel Like You’ve “Settled”
Do you feel like you’ve settled for your boyfriend? Do you know that there are better guys out there for you but that you’ve just settled for this guy because it’s a safe relationship and he provides you with security? Then you may want to end it. A life of settling usually equates to a life filled of regret resulting in an unhealthy relationship. Even if your current boyfriend is a nice guy, if he’s not the one for you, he’s simply not the one. Breaking up will take a lot of guts and may be upsetting for the both of you, but the chances are he’d rather you move on than be chosen as “second best.”
Do you recognize any of these bad signs? If yes, then you may want to reevaluate your relationship with your boyfriend and consider where it’s realistically heading.
How to Break Up With Someone You Love
Now that you have decided it is time to end things, it is extremely important to do so in a way where each of you can feel understood. Breaking up is hard to do. It is emotional and uncomfortable situation for both parties. However, there are ways to smooth the process in the end a relationship. Here are some tips for – How to break up with your boyfriend.
1. Be Honest
This is one of the most important things to do when ending a relationship. When breaking up with your boyfriend, being as open and direct as possible is the only clear path out. Do not beat around the bush living him with questions. Show empathy, but make sure he knows why the relationship is ending. When looking back, it is very likely he will appreciate the honesty.
2. Choose the Right Time
This does not mean pick out the exact date and time. This means to break up with him when he is not dealing with any other pressing matters outside of your relationship issues. The end of a relationship can be a depressing time. Try to avoid breaking up with him immediately following a death in his family or if he was just fired from his job. With this, he may have the proper environment to heal. It is also important to do break up with him in person when you both are alone. Lastly, try to make sure it is not in the middle of a fight. When you are both heated, things may be said that you do not truly mean.
3. Use “I” Statements
Use statements that include “I” rather than “You.” This will inherently reinforce your honesty as well as deflect his feelings of judgment. Rather than saying “You have changed” try saying “I see things different now.” Saying statements with “I” can also help you get your feelings across more clearly.
Getting Over a Breakup
Getting over a break up can be hard for the person ending a relationship and the person who was broken up with. In this stage of a break up, it is important for both parties to continue their lives in a healthy manner and stay up. Here are some tips for – Getting over a break up.
1. Avoid Contact
Whether you work with him, go to school with him, or simply even still follow him on social media, avoid all contact in the initial stages of a break up. Getting over heartbreak can be near impossible when seeing your ex on a daily basis. As hard as it may be, total separation is the first step in mending a broken heart. This should go without saying, but NO DRUNK TEXTS!
2. Focus on Yourself
This may sound cliché but it is true. Focusing on yourself will allow you to positively reconstruct your feelings. Ripping off the band aid and being honest with yourself will allow you to deal with the breakup and get over it more quickly. There will be a feeling of emptiness and you may not be in the perkiest of moods, but you will be doing a huge service to yourself by simply getting out of the house, returning to your normal routine, and seeing your friends! It is the little things that make a huge impact on your mental health.
3. Don’t Look Back
After a break up, it is important not to dwell on the past. This does not mean to forget that your ex ever existed and to ditch all of your cherished memories. This means letting go of your relationship and moving on. Look at your future and strive to be your ultimate self again. There will always be a special place in your heart for your ex. Look at the relationship ending as the beginning of the future.